On Wednesday the parents left the house entrusting it to me while they took a ten day trip to California. With the house left to my own devices I did what any mature house-sitter would do.

I STARTED THROWING A WILD TEN DAY PPAAAARRRRTTTTAAAAYYYY!!!!!

Thats right, everyone. This extravaganza won’t end until the old-timers come back and find the place absolutely ransacked and destroyed. Expect this to be the most wild, out of control, legendary bash the world has ever seen. Those who participate will sing praises of it to their grandchildren, who in turn will pass the story down to theirs. It’ll be so epic, everyone will want it edited in their obituaries and engraved on their tombstones.

Of course, there are some basic logistical problems. Something so massive and incredible is bound to attract some rudimentary obstacles. The first day went off a bit rough as time commitments had to be met. For instance, didn’t I have some responsibilities to fulfill? What events are there going to be? Aren’t there vegetables to water? Whose gonna refill the ice tray? All very, very important questions involved in the planning of any party. Believe it or not, to keep everyone’s attention you can turn any regular event into a wild, exciting celebration.

Thats right. As long as you hoot, holler, wear a hat sideways and dance around it technically counts as a party. This is a true fact and anyone who denies has never done anything remotely cool in their entire lifetimes. Such boring people deserve to be ignored and forever shunned in the furthest corner of the backyard.

Maybe your feeble little mind can’t comprehend exactly what kind of awesome I’m talking about. Lets take the commencement at noon where the first stop on this crazy-train was doing some lawn work for the neighbor. AAWWWW YEAAAHHH! Two straight hours in sun on a clear summer day. Ain’t gettin’ much more better then that, or does it? Get this. We just got started on this non-stoppa-spectacular and I’ve already started makin’ money. This here is already turning a profit. Logically, at this rate, I could party every day forever and make a living out of it. Anyone a career councilor, cuz everyone is gonna sign up for this.

After that, went over to my grandmom’s place and dropped her off at bingo. WOOOO! BINNNGGGGOOOOO!!!! You sunk my battleship! Then the night was brought in by supporting local arts and culture at the Abington Art Center. HELL YES! Nothing cooler then BEING INVOLVED THE COMMUNITY!

Oh but it didn’t end there. Haven’t you be paying attention, moron? This party won’t stop till August! I’ll be keeping the world, or those who accidentally stumbled on my twitter feed, updated on the most all-out event of the decade. Thats right, the decade. Even though it just started, I’m calling it. Done deal. Heck, right now its “FRIGGEN’ SWEET BLOG TIME” where after every paragraph I rock out by screaming the last four words.

THE LAST FOUR WORDS!!!! YYEEAAAHHHH!!!